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The non-fiction information on this website is accurate and factual.  Accordingly, Callum Houston cannot be held liable
in any way as a result of the use of, or the reliance on, the accurate and factual information found on this website.

Comments: callumhouston@aol.com
"The Porno Project"  (A Collection Of Ultra-Erotic Sexual Fantasies! X-Rated!)
"Mafia: Armed To The Teeth"  (Depraved Vancouver Gangsters On The Loose! X-Rated!)
"Planet Of The Rape Aliens"  (The Sex Commandos Battle Horny Aliens On Mars! X-Rated!)
"Finance Minister Taking Bribes!"    (Criminal Bribery And Theft In BC Government!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #1"   (Strange Boats, Helicopters And Maniac Otters!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #2"   (Hallucinogenic Garlic!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #3"   (Wacky Wanda, Vanessa And The Highway Girl!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #4"   (Working In Radio In Vancouver In The '90s!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #5"   (The Randy Bachman Concert At The Complex!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #6"   (Pow! Red Hot Roller Derby Action!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #7"   (Terrorized By An Air-Force Bomber At My Home!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #8"   (Illegal Weather Manipulation! Plus Drones, Etc.!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #9"   (Zombie Jet Emissions! Plus Death Waves, Etc.!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #10" (Zombie Jets! Zombie Cops! And Sci-Fi Weapons!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #11" (Sexual Molestation! Electric Shocks! Death Threats!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #12" (Jailhouse Terror! The Electromagnetic Apocalypse!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #13" (Fighting Electronic Harassment! Plus Zombie Jets!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #14" (River City Q&A: Powell Riverite Marcel Perigny!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #15" (Recording An Album At Mushroom Studios In Van!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #16" (Nasty E-Mails! Vicious Accusations! Bat Attack!)
"Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #17" (Psychological Warfare With A Credit Card Company!)
 
Fight Lawyer Crime
QUOTES:

“We are at war, my friend, and what you did back there makes you a saint.  A fucking saint.  Believe me, you will be remembered for that good deed.  Three words apply to those fuckers and don’t you ever forget ’em:  No Fucking Mercy.”
Randy Shannon from Mafia: Armed To The Teeth


“Man, you could put those tits in a titty contest.  And I don’t mean just a local contest, I mean ANY contest.  Those are world-class titties.  You could stick those titties in a titty contest with chicks from every country in the world and they’d win for sure.”
Jack Bush from Mafia: Armed To The Teeth


“The outside of you tastes so good, so sweet, baby.  But I’ve got to know what you taste like on the inside as well.  Piss in my mouth for me.”
Randy Shannon from Mafia: Armed To The Teeth


“When I find the fucker who pulled the trigger on my brother I’m going to have Matt and Donnie go to work on him with a chainsaw and a live electrical wire.”
Nicholas Rockford from Mafia: Armed To The Teeth


“To you it’s harmless.  But one drop of your ejaculate received internally by a third party is enough to kill an elephant instantly.  All you have to do is get your semen into your target.  Either orally, vaginally or anally.”
Sergeant Martin Hill from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“They put nitro in our dicks???”
Private Chip Hasselback from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Personally I believe I’m much worse than merely the Bloodthirsty Bitch of the Big Dipper.  The Bloodthirsty Bitch of the WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE is more like it.”
Warden Marie Louise Blaskowitz from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“I’ve got all the symptoms of a pregnancy.  I can’t see straight; one minute I’m not hungry, the next minute I’m as famished as a pig at feeding time; and I puke in the middle of the night worse than Oliver Reed on a three-day bender.”
Dawn Monroe from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“My god, Blaskowitz’s butchers didn’t hang somebody’s cock on you, they hung a side of BEEF on you!”
Morgana Rudd from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“TAKE OFF YOUR PRISON UNIFORMS!  STRIP DOWN NAKED RIGHT NOW!  I WANT TO SEE ALL OF YOUR TITS AND YOUR ASSES BEFORE MY EYES!”
Warden Marie Louise Blaskowitz from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Let her go, Morgana.  Annie the Tranny is with us.”
Dawn Monroe from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“There, do you see it?  Can you see that erect red object protruding from beneath the organism?  The organism has an erection.  What you are seeing is the organism’s erect penis.  You are about to witness sexual intercourse take place between the organism and a human being.”
Dr. Fu Wang from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you had sex with an alien before I got in the sack with you?  ‘Thanks for the sex, Phaedra.  Oh and by the way, I forgot to tell you, the other day I got raped by Mothra.’”
Phaedra DeVore from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Well I’ll be damned.  This is mind-blowing.  So aliens DO exist.”
Private Chip Hasselback from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“You flaunt yourselves so flagrantly because it’s the bone that you crave, my bone, the bone of my squad of sex studs that I enlisted from the heavens.  You all want to be chosen by me to be raped alive by the Sex Commandos.”
Warden Marie Louise Blaskowitz from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“The cock-carrying bitch isn’t going anywhere.  You can have her when we’re done with her.  She’ll be nicely wrapped up in a small zip-lock plastic baggy for you to take home with you.  Now get the fuck out of here while we finish what we started.”
Morgana Rudd from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“I’m bringing in a Pay Scale D salary doing what I love to do.  I get to go on cool missions to blow things up and kill people.  I’m looking at a sweet Scale A retirement pension down the line when this ride is all over.  And at this very moment I’m going on a paid vacation to Mars as a Sex Commando to bang me some hot Martian poontang.  Life couldn’t be any better.”
Private Logan Knox from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“One of you is going to feel what it’s like to have an erection, one of you is going to feel what it’s like to ejaculate, one of you is going to feel what it’s like to screw a woman.  One of you is going to find out what it’s like to piss out of a hose instead of a hole.  Yes, one of you is going to have your vagina replaced with a penis.”
Warden Marie Louise Blaskowitz from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Okay dogs, listen up.  The procedure from this point on is simple.  We touch down, we get down and then we get outta town.  Got it?”
Sergeant Jonah “The King” Wallace from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“I hear what you’re saying, Doc.  When you put a stimulation gel on your pecker you want to feel it, right?  You don’t want to use a stimulation gel that you put on your dick and you don’t even know it’s there.  Why settle for instant coffee when you can have the deluxe, gourmet shit?”
Private Logan Knox from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“The hurting’s normal.  Your boner hurts because you’re excited.  When it hurts like that it means you’re about to pop.  Then once you pop it feels wonderful.”
Morgana Rudd from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“I’ve been looking forward to this ever since I got back to one-ten, you fucking coldblooded cunt.  You got Blaskowitz to send me out for a bug rape in the lab downstairs.  Now I’m going to kill you for it.”
Dawn Monroe from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“I want you to fuck Kayla while I watch.  Screw the little jailhouse hussy in front of me right now and make her squeal like a pussycat in heat for me.”
Warden Marie Louise Blaskowitz from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“It feels like somebody’s inflating a sack of basketballs one by one in my small intestine.  I think I’m about to burst.  If this thing inside of me keeps growing at this rate it’s gonna tear a hole in my tummy within fifteen minutes.”
Dawn Monroe from Planet of the Rape Aliens


“Are you ready for your farewell fuck of a lifetime you goddamn fucking bitch?”
Sergeant Jonah “The King” Wallace from Planet of the Rape Aliens



“You must ejaculate the spermatozoa INSIDE the vagina.  Never remove your penis from the vagina unless I say so.  In future you will ejaculate INSIDE the girl, not outside of her.”
Dr. Fu Wang from Planet of the Rape Aliens
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Planet of the Rape Aliens Mafia: Armed To The Teeth The Porno Project
Stuff I've Seen In Powell River #18